average american does not make 7 paninis a year. george foreman, who makes 10000 paninis a day, is an outlier and should not be counted

Elon Musk gets divorced and his ex-wife moves to Italy 

Grimes, New Roman

The year is 2075. I get a scan of my brain to determine my True Gender. The computer tells me I am transmasc demicatgender. I am printed a flag, given a broken pair of cat ears and a certificate, and send on my way

eventually i'm going to become the lonely old* woman whose only companion is a cat. i can feel it

*early thirties

issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the angels. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"

forcibly ejected from surgery after asking the nurse to trust me because i'm a doctor, then revealing my doctorate was in history, not medicine

@FirstProgenitor can people not read that not only are you already saying that you've moved beyond that entirely

Mutual aid request 

$150/$300. If I can get the rest of the way I can make the minimum payment on the credit card I accidentally overdrafted due to bank mishaps. Thank you all for helping me in this transition period!

Venmo: @robertwcarlisle
Cashapp: $rwcarlisle

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deep throating a garden hose so I can twist it to point up and full blast it, purging my entire nasal cavity in a horrific surge of water that launches out my nose and whips my head back with enough force to launch me, destroying allergies once and for all

just occurred to me that a tank of gas right now is 2 2/3 hours of my labor, since its been taking about 40 bux to fill up

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Cyrene Savage's Post Hole

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